Winning ways

THE men’s kickyball league in Scotland has become somewhat stale and predictable lately. And by lately we mean the last hundred years or so.

Celtic and Rangers covetously transfer the top trophies back and forward to each other, immersed in a private game of pass the parcel, where the party music never stops.

Thrill a minute has turned into thrill a millennium.

Which is why the Diary prefers watching women’s footy, which is far more exciting.

Reader Foster Evans shares our passion for the ladies’ Premier League, and says: “Any team with Priscila Chinchilla (Midfield, Glasgow City) or Chelsea Cornet (Midfield, Rangers) deserves to be a success.”

Green goes blue

MOVIE-MAD Diary correspondent David Donaldson sat down to watch The Banshees Of Inisherin on Prime one evening, and was astonished at the amount of swearing that goes on in this flick set in a rural corner of the Emerald Isle in the 1920s.

Says David: “Watch it and you'll never call the Irish country folk of yore feckless again.”

Stretching the truth

WE’RE discussing Management Speak, those numerous occasions when bosses botch the supposedly simple job of communicating with their underlings.

Says Ian Noble from Carstairs Village: “I used to have a boss who, if I said anything approaching hyperbolic, would reply, ‘I’ve told you a million times – don’t exaggerate.’”

Grammar goner

WHEN it comes to protecting the English language, Diary readers are pugnaciously pedantic. They hate to see the mother tongue mangled, mauled or minced.

Alas, it may be too late to save our majestic lingo, claims Sally Grey from Eaglesham, who adds: “The days of people using proper grammar has come and went.”

Playful ambition

AN intriguing suggestion from Fife playwright David Greig, who says: “As well as a bucket list you should also compile a Beckett List of all the best bits from the great man's plays which you intend to enact before you die. My first is "sit in a bin and shout at my wife".”

Stolen childhood

CONFUSED Rab Gibson from Falkirk tells us that a popular phrase he doesn’t really understand is "legally adopted". Says Rab: “It’s not as though you can be illegally adopted, is it? That’s just kidnapping.”

Key to confusion

“WHEN nobody is looking,” says reader Barry Cooper, “I like to swap the A and E keys on people's keyboards in the office. Some people might claim that I'm an immature prankster, though I categorically deny this is the case. I'm an immetura prenkstar.”