THE spectre of Margaret Thatcher haunted the House of Commons, summoned forth after an ill-advised seance, in which Labour leader Keir Starmer channelled the former PM’s “driving sense of purpose”.
This was a gift to Parliament’s comedians though, in a particularly entertaining Prime Minister’s Questions, once more Sir Keir had pearls of his own to strew before the multitude. Fair to say their shine soon wore off, though.
Wearing a navy cord jacket buttoned up tight, Michael Fabricant (Con) was first to poke fun at the opposition leader. Fair to say Sir Michael raises smiles even before he’s said a word, not just because he’s having a bad hair life but because he can be funny. You can laugh at him and with him.
To loud cries of “hyah–hyah!”, he burst forth with a paean to Lady Thatcher, whose “robust treatment” of the trade unions had ensured iconic names in the West Midlands motor industry, such as Jaguar and Land Rover, had survived.
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“So,” he asked, as we waited for the punch-line, “does the Prime Minister share my boundless joy that, on the road of Damascus, and in recognition of … all that she achieved” – more of those hyah-hyahs that sound like pigs vomiting – “another fan-boy has joined her great belief.”
Odd phrasing, if that’s what he said, but it did the trick, teeing up Prime Minister Rishi Sunak, in trademark shiny white shirt and thin blue tie, to declare how happy he was “to welcome new Thatcherites from all sides of this House”. It said something about Mr Starmer, he added, that the only strong female leader he praised was the aforementioned Mrs T, “and not his own fantastic deputy”.
At Sir Keir’s side, Angela Rayner smiled awkwardly. But the Labour leader confidently believed he had the better jokes at this top comedy venue. If, he said, the purpose of the Rwanda “gimmick” had been to get people the Tories couldn’t deal with out of the country, then it had been “a resounding success”.
Here it comes: “After all, they’ve managed to send three home secretaries there, an achievement for which the whole country can be grateful.” Oh, my sides.
The PM hit back with something vaguely epigrammatic, averring: “Once again, instead of being on the side of the British people he finds himself on the side of the people smugglers.” Hmm, food for thoughtlessness there.
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Sir Keir proffered the tidbit for cogitation that article 19 of the Rwanda treaty said the UK would have to take in refugees from … Rwanda. “I’m beginning to see why the Home Secretary said the Rwanda scheme was, er, something to do with bats, wasn’t it?”
This referred to James Cleverly’s alleged original view that the scheme was “bats**t crazy”. On the Government front bench, Mr Cleverly shook his head unconvincingly.
For his part, Mr Sunak had hitherto affected outrage in his mild-mannered way, while Mr Starmer appeared cynical and cocksure – until the jokes started going flat.
“I would say,” he averred, “that this treaty has got more holes in than a Swiss cheese, but I wouldn’t want to wind up the Prime Minister by talking about a European country again.” I see. Then he blundered straight into a trap: “There was mention of Margaret Thatcher earlier,” he noted, inviting loud, sustained Tory cheers and an intervention from Deputy Speaker Eleanor Laing, who acknowledged the “understandable excitement” at mention of that name.
Sir Keir flailed on through the hullabaloo, saying the Tories had gone “from ‘up yours, Delors’, to ‘take our money, Kagame [Rwandan president]’”, a line weakened by being delivered in the voice of Alan Partridge.
Footer badinage followed, with the Labour leader quoting from his Daily Mail a story about the PM feeling sorry for himself, comparing his plight to that of his beloved Southampton FC. But Sir Keir said the Saints were actually on an unbeaten run, while the PM, as the terracing chant has it, “gets battered everywhere he goes”. Tory front benchers shook their heads in disgust. You never hear such uncouth chants at the polo.
Rishi, meanwhile, dug himself out of a hole, with a cunning bit of homework noting that Keir’s team, Arsenal, wore “Visit Rwanda” badges on their tops. An equaliser for the boys in blue.
Refereeing both sides, showing neither fear nor favour, the SNP’s Westminster leader, Stephen Flynn, asked: “Is the Prime Minister worried that he is projected to be the first Conservative Party leader to lose a general election to a fellow Thatcherite?” A good line, strengthened by being delivered in the voice of Frankie Boyle.
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