A HERALD story about a Watership Down conference which will take place at Glasgow University reminds Malcolm Boyd from Milngavie of the butcher who placed a sign in his window, soon after the release of the movie, which was based on a novel about a gang of roving rabbits.

The sign read: “You've read the book. You’ve seen the film. Now come and eat the cast.”

Graffiti for gals

WE’RE discussing the scholarly scribbles that are often scrawled on toilet doors. Gilbert MacKay from Newton Mearns once competed in a sports event in Fraserburgh where so many men's teams were taking part that some of the blokes had to use the dressing area allocated for women, where the graffiti was of a much higher order than the literary output usually found in a chap’s changing room.

It included the following pithy and poetical masterpiece:

"A girl's ambition must be small,

To write his name upon this wall."

Pants are pants

THE husband of Glasgow author Deedee Cuddihy decided to have a clothing cull. At one point he stumbled upon a pair of underpants he’d forgotten about, and that Deedee had never seen before. He explained that he bought them in a supermarket in France when the couple were holidaying years ago, but he only noticed the brand name afterwards. At which point he hid the undergarments, fearing Deedee would mock him mercilessly.

The pants were labelled: Dim.

And, yes, Deedee admits her hubby was most astute. She would have mocked him mercilessly.

Scoffing at scoff

THE rather slothful husband of reader Sue Cooper complained to her the other day: “It’s not fair. I go in the kitchen and I’m searching for food. But there’s no food. Just ingredients.”

Jed-aye, right

EAGLE-EYED David Donaldson spotted an intriguing registration plate on the M9 from Perth to Stirling, which was: OBI 1 KNB.

Our reader believes the car’s owner must be a Star Wars fan from Glasgow, or thereabouts.

For it’s only in the distinctive burr of the west of Scotland native that OBI 1 KNB becomes… Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Sinking friend-ship

WE continue our long and valiant campaign to make the English language once again fit for purpose, by inventing words that don’t appear in the English dictionary, but really should.

Jim Hamilton suggests: Hiberdating (Verb): Someone who ignores all his/her friends when dating a girlfriend/boyfriend.

Illuminating career

THOUGHT for the day from reader Ben Travers, who says: “I wonder if people in lightbulb factories feel any pressure to come up with new ideas.”

Read more: Those were the days...