It’s getting a bit exhausting, being a woman. I know what you might be thinking – “here she goes again with the sexism lecture” – but please, hear me out.
I’m a great believer that words don’t mean much without context. I get annoyed at the seemingly endless crusades to effectively ban words just for the sheer offence of their existence. It makes no sense. In that world we wouldn’t have provocation, we wouldn’t have change. We wouldn’t have comedy and satire, and that is not a world I want to live in.
But if you can agree that overblown reactions at words taken out of context are an irritation, then the obvious truth is that words matter completely when taken within context.
Words like “love” or “darling” or “hen” can mean dramatically different things depending on how, when and why they’re said. Someone on the bus saying “sorry hen” when they fall on top of you because the driver thinks he’s an F1 superstar is quite different to a superior at work referring to you as “hen” when you’re the only female in an executive meeting. The former is designed to minimise any perceived hostility, the latter is demeaning.
This confusion has left us in a bit of a mess when it comes to understanding one another. Often, men are accused of raging misogyny when they genuinely think they’re being civil. As a result, movements of actual misogynists capitalise on hurt feelings to boost their “PC gone mad” theories.
People who pay attention to words are well aware of this game. It’s entirely politicised and often weaponised.
That’s why people who deal with words for a living have a pretty massive responsibility. That includes journalists. It includes politicians. It most certainly includes the UK foreign secretary. And that’s why I’m exhausted with it all.
In parliament last week, we had to witness the very sorry sight of Commons Speaker John Bercow giving the bumbling buffoon a ticking off for childish sexism (at this stage I don’t think I need to point out that the bumbling buffoon is Boris Johnson, I’m pretty sure you all got that).
Answering a question from Labour MP Emily Thornberry in the chamber, Johnson referred to her at Lady Nugee – her husband is Sir Christopher Nugee – saying: “The Baroness, whatever it is, I cannot remember what it is... Nugee.”
It’s the equivalent of “hen” in its most derogatory sense.
Reprimanding Johnson, Bercow said: “The shadow foreign secretary has a name, and it is not 'Lady something'. We know what her name is. It is inappropriate and frankly sexist to speak in those terms, and I am not having it in this chamber.”
But sadly, it’s not the first time Thornberry has faced this put down. And excruciatingly, it came from Johnson’s boss, none other than Prime Minister Theresa May.
Last February, May was forced to say sorry when Thornberry complained about being referred to as Lady Nugee, saying: “If the Honourable Lady is concerned about the reference that I made to her, of course I will apologise for that.”
The fact May is a woman does not make the comment any less sexist in nature - when someone defines a woman’s identity by the male partner in her life rather than by the title she chooses, it doesn’t matter whether a man or a woman makes the statement, the intent is the same.
The bumbling buffoon also apologised for his behaviour after the fact (he may be offended by my referencing him as a buffoon, but have a taste of your own medicine BoJo – it’s unbecoming, isn’t it?).
Apology or no apology, the to and fro becomes tiring. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve written about the stain of sexism on social media, and yet here we have Johnson playing it like a clown act in parliament. If you want to insult someone, I’d at least appreciate something creative. Falling back on gender is lazy, if nothing else, and copying your boss a year after the last ‘joke’ flopped like a Spice Girls warm-up act at a heavy metal gig is pathetic.
And so it gets a bit exhausting to keep fighting this fight when both the foreign secretary and the prime minister can’t even get their acts together. All we can really do, and what will matter in the end, is to keep on keeping on, like Emily Thornberry, and get the job done, whatever it may be - despite the bumbling buffoons we might encounter along the way.
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules hereLast Updated:
Report this comment Cancel