Window of opportunity

IN One Man and his Blog, Diary reader John Henderson discusses memories of the BBC’s Play School, in particular the section where young viewers were shown round, square or arched windows and asked to choose one through which to watch something that shape.

The memory inspired John to take an aesthetic photograph through a window at Glasgow’s Gallery of Modern Art, but also prompted him to recall “unfounded rumours circulated by Billy Connolly that BBC Scotland once tried to commission a Glasgow version of Play School, the big difference being that the presenter asked you to pick a window … because you would be leaving very soon!”

Wind of change

INTRIGUING implications have been noted by alert Diary readers after an article in Monday’s Herald told how American engineers had discovered how to manufacture thread that changes colour to show the presence of toxic gases in the atmosphere.

Lorne order

OUR story of the Buckie Negroni cocktail reminds Torrance reader Derek Miller of another time when a Glasgow favourite was elevated to a higher level of sophistication. Recalls Derek: “Many years ago, my wife and I went to Babbity Bowster, the legendary ‘New Glasgow’ pub in the Merchant City, and were tickled at the day’s special on the board: ‘Lorne Sausage in a Piquant Sauce’.

“Now, I’m no stranger to a roll ’n’ skwerr, and I’m quite fond of spicy sauces, but opted against this new creation in favour of haggis, neeps and tatties.” Chickened out, eh? Surely a gentleman would have made his wife try it?

A face for fitba’

THE Diary’s recent tale about the vomiting ref in a Highland League football match reminds reader Robin Gilmour of a former linesman and fellow patient he met while both were enjoying the hospitality of, er, a hospital.

This selfless official had many stories to tell, including one of a game “somewhere up North”. As Robin recounts it: “No sooner had the match started than he heard someone shouting behind him: ‘Oh, for eff’s sake, no’ that effing ugly Glasgow linesman again!”

As Robin notes: “That’s show business, I suppose.”

Eaten rifleman

YESTERDAY’S tragi-joyful story about a rhino poacher being trampled by an elephant then eaten by lions prompts reader Martin Morrison to note that the incident took place at Crocodile Bridge and that, furthermore, the Guardian’s account was written by Kate Lyons. Says Martin: “Whenever something gruesome happens, the press are on it like vultures.”

Bark here

LIKING comedian Frankie Boyle’s Twitter bio note: “If you need to contact me, scream your message into a hole in a tree.”

My way or the highway

NEWS of a “Keep left” campaign aimed at foreign tourists on Highland roads reminds us of the one about a dotty old-driver-in-a-wee-cap getting a call on his car phone from his daughter. “Dad,” said she in a concerned voice, “I’ve just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way on the M8. Please be careful!”

“Fiona,” replied the clearly agitated old boy. “It’s not just one car. It’s hundreds of them!”

Read more: A coal bunker, a jawbox – and rhubarb jam from 1963