A DIARY item about cats destroying furnishings reminds reader Margaret Forbes of the time she adopted two moggies, a mother and son, who both arrived with a naughty sofa-scratching habit.

After being forced to buy the gazillionth new sofa, Margaret’s husband came up with the cunning idea of nailing carpet tiles all the way round the side and back of the couch. The colour of the tiles matched the rest of the chair, and the razer-clawed ruffians decided it was an even better surface for mauling.

And that’s how the humans, and their ferocious feline overlords, all managed to live happily (and scratchily) ever after.


THINK you’re having a bad year? Award-winning Ayrshire photographer Alex Boyd has revealed a woman crashed her car into his apartment. Thankfully, nobody was hurt, though the car is now feeling rather poorly, and the only way out of Alex’s home is to exit through one of the windows.

An exhausted and exasperated Alex sighs: “2020… going to just give it a rest?”

Glitterball gramps

TO get in a festive mood Chris Ide, from East Renfrewshire, bought himself a new Christmas jumper that has a fir tree design with little bulbs. When the battery-powered pack is switched on the bulbs twinkle merrily.

“My son shot a short video clip of this phenomenon,” says Chris, “and posted it on our family WhatsApp site.” The following day Chris’s four-year old grandson proudly announced to his nursery class: “Mummy showed me a video of grandpa flashing.”

Totter terror

CONCERNED husband Terry McGeary, from East Kilbride, fears for his wife's safety as the shelf above her side of the bed holds a lofty heap of books she hasn’t managed to read yet, and that is now in serious danger of toppling over.

“I call it her Leaning Tower of Pulitzer,” says Terry.

Not mincing words

MORE cruel descriptions of thin folk. When Tom Stevenson, from Stranraer, was younger he sometimes heard people of an exceedingly slim stature described as: "A pun o' mince thrown at a skeleton."

Spirited celebrations

THIS holiday season it’s important to be reminded of the true meaning of Christmas, says reader Alison Duncan. And what precisely is that meaning?

“Ghosts terrorising rich people in the middle of the night until they agree to pay their employees more dosh,” says Alison.

Revelries revised

EXCITED reader Jim Hamilton asks: “Is anyone else planning on staying up drinking until midnight to see in the new tier?”