Muriel muses amusingly

BBC crime drama Line of Duty is getting fans all hot and bothered with its twists and turns. Though not every viewer is intrigued by the plot points. Ignoring the more obvious dramatic developments on screen, broadcaster Muriel Gray notes the acronym GSW is used in the show to mean Gun Shot Wounds. But as she points out, the abbreviation has more syllables than the actual words, meaning it takes longer to say.

“Should I write to the police?” she wonders. “Might they find it useful? I might get a certificate or a badge or something.”

Cheap chap

STANDING on a stage and lecturing to a rapt audience is a thrilling experience. It can also be humbling. Malcolm Boyd from Milngavie once gave an illustrated talk to a history group. The chairman of the organisation mentioned in his welcome address that Malcolm was giving his talk free of charge.  He added approvingly that this meant for the group’s next meeting they could afford a good speaker.

Bad break

THE emergence, followed by the rapid disintegration, of football’s controversial European Super League is resulting in some curious knock-on effects. “My wife and dog have announced a breakaway super household,” reveals Glasgow based actor and comedian Johnny Mac, who adds despondently: “I didn’t make the top six… and there are only three of us in the house.”

Wynd up?

OUR readers continue to spot unusual place names. David Donaldson points out that in Dundee there’s a road called Horsewater Wynd which leads to Smellies Lane. “Coincidence, or what?” says David, suspiciously.

Wee problem

ANOTHER tale of the language barrier between Scotland and everyone else on the planet. Richard Davis used to live in Austria where he regularly attended hospital to see a neurologist. Doctor and patient usually had no difficulty communicating in English. Though once Richard was lying on the exam couch while the doc asked if he could feel a sharp needle pricking his foot. Forgetting where he was, Richard replied, “Och, just a wee bit,” causing the muddled medic to march to the head of the table and demand a translation.

Boxing clever

GRAEME Armstrong’s novel about gang culture in Airdrie, The Young Team, which is based on his youth, is being adapted for television.

With a poetic flourish, Graeme describes his transformation from marginalised man to Mr Media Mogul: “Fae roaming the schemes, Tae yer TV screens...”

Flimsy faith

MY teenage son treats me like I’m a god,” says reader Roberta Richardson. “He acts like I don’t exist until he wants something.”

Apologies: the wrong Diary was uploaded earlier today