Uh-oh, BoJo

IT’S the outlandish disclosure that has left the British public shocked, dismayed and struggling to absorb the ramifications. Former chief adviser at Number 10, Dominic Cummings, has revealed that Boris Johnson isn’t the hardest working, most astute or dedicated British Prime Minister to have ever landed the job.

Okay, perhaps we exaggerate a tad. Or even a tad-and-a-half.

In truth, we all sort of knew about Mr Johnson. Bees bumble. And so does a Boris. It’s in the job description.

Now our very own Bertie Wooster finds himself having to deal with a jilted Jeeves with an outsize peeve.

Our advice to the PM would be to come clean about every single one of his shortcomings, before Dom tries to dish the dirt again.

BoJo could even correspondent with the Diary, for as the following tales from our vault underline, we are very understanding when it comes to the foibles of our fellow man or woman.

Course manners

ARCHITECTURE students from Glasgow were on a field trip to York and staying in the local university’s halls of residence.

Invited to a uni dinner, one student was perhaps overawed when he was asked by an academic further up the table: “What course are you on?”

His startled reply of “the soup” will haunt him forever.

Kid’s play

WE’VE been discussing the curious names parents give children. A reader was in a shoe shop where a little lad was hiding from his mum behind the racks. Eventually the exasperated mother came out with an exceedingly Elizabethan exclamation when she bellowed: “Romeo! Romeo! Where ur ye Romeo?”

Challenging behaviour

A MEMBER of staff at a major power company told us of colleagues from Newcastle who attended a training day in Glasgow, wearing their company’s high-viz jackets, on which was printed “Challenge me,” reflecting the company’s culture of challenging unsafe behaviour.

One of the chaps returned from a stroll round the city centre and enquired what the “square go” was that a local youth had shouted at him.

Whisky a go-go

ANOTHER tale of the jet set. A reader was in Glasgow Airport when there was a last call for a British Midlands flight to Heathrow, and they were urging Messrs Whyte, Mackay and Bell to go to the plane.

“They’ll be in the bar,” our reader thought to herself.


A CHAP in Glasgow's Byres Road pointed out an RAC van stuck in traffic to his pal, and declared: “Do you see how depressed the driver in that van looks?”

When his pal seemed puzzled, it inevitably allowed the first chap to add: “Bet he’s headed for a breakdown.”

Bum deal

A DOUBLE-DECKER was going to Glasgow. As the previous bus hadn’t arrived it was rammed with people. The driver, trying to clear space, shouted that there were “plenty of seats upstairs”.

A passenger sitting at the top of the stairs yelled down: “Aye! But there’s a***s on all of them.”

Street strife

A CHEEKY busker in Glasgow city centre once shouted at a couple leaving before he’d finished his act: “Hey! I didn’t leave when you got here.”