A HEATED debate has been taking place in school common rooms across the nation. For once, the dispute isn’t about whether the chemistry teachers can concoct a frothing liquid compound that, when swallowed, allows them to beat the fitter and faster PE teachers in a beanbag race to the death.

Instead, the discussion centres on whether pupils should be allowed to watch Scotland play the Czech Republic at Hampden in the Euros at 2pm today.

A teacher from Glasgow’s south side reveals he discussed the matter with colleagues and they concluded the youngsters can indulge in some patriotic gogglebox ogling.

He adds: “We also decided that if Scotland lose, there will be punishment exercises all round. Which should ensure the cheers for the home nation are extra rapturous.”

Movie mix-up

A TALE of a frazzled film fan. Reader Stevie Campbell reveals his best pal’s brother took his girlfriend to the multiplex cinema in Hamilton.

He had, however, imbibed a few jars beforehand, and asked the lady at the desk for two tickets for "Man in a trance."

The woman informed him the use of the "Main Entrance" was free.

Food for thought

A WHILE ago, singer-songwriter Bob Dylan won the Nobel Prize for Literature. The Diary believes that if a mere crooner can bag such a prestigious award, it should also be handed over to the prolific author writing all those witty slogans on T-shirts. Reader Gordon Casely agrees, having been impressed by a woman on Stonehaven beach, whose T-shirt read: I’m a vegan from my head tomatoes.

Engine trouble

ANOTHER seafaring yarn. Peter Sommerville, from Greenock, recalls that during his time at sea first-trippers were told to collect scraps of food to feed the mules, prior to arriving at the Panama Canal.

There was always great disappointment when the naive sailors discovered that the "mules" were, in fact, small locomotives that pulled the ships through the various locks.

Wheely crazy

OBSERVANT reader David Donaldson spotted that in St Andrews there is a bike shop called Cyclepath, and wonders if its popular with local undergraduates studying Psychleology.

The Diary is also curious to know if the bike shop has one of those signs on the wall that reads: ‘You don’t have to be crazy to work here… but it helps.’

What’s the beef?

“YOU know you’re getting old,” sighs reader Martha Brown, “when you actually start enjoying the lettuce and tomato on a hamburger.”

Inconclusive conclusion

THOUGHT for the day from reader Raymond Harris, who says: “Being ambivalent has its pros and cons.”