10-minute triumph
CYNICS sometimes claim that our nation’s footy fans take more delight in an English loss than a Scottish victory.
Not true. We may have had a few insignificant skirmishes with our southern neighbours in the past, but the Diary is proud to proclaim that, in these enlightened times, the generous and decent folk of Alba share the Anglo Saxons’ giddy pleasure in their triumph over Germany at Wembley.
Ed Miller from Cumbernauld puts it best, when he says: “Having something new to celebrate will hopefully stop the English banging on about ’66 for at least 10 minutes.”
Highfalutin hobnobbing
ENERGETIC reader Hugh Dougherty was cycling through the plummier parts of Newton Mearns on a roasting hot day, when he decided to stop for a rest. Strolling on the pavement opposite, an elderly couple nodded across to him.
"Saffy warm, as you'd never say up the Mearns," said Hugh, who lives down the road in the slightly humbler district of Cathcart.
"Actually," replied the man, with a straight face, "we'd simply say, up here, that the weather has a high calorific value."
Frying tonight
VISITING his local chippy, Charles Black from Stirling was surprised at the high prices. Sharing his thoughts with the bloke behind the counter, he said: “Have you never heard of the phrase, ‘Cheap as chips’?”
With a shrug of his shoulders, the serving chap replied: “That’ll be meaning them yins ye get oot the grund in yer allotment, in the shape ’o tatties, then fry in yer ain kitchen. When it’s me dain’ the fryin’, ye pay a wee bitty extra.”
The fool, Monty
WE continue celebrating the nifty newspaper headlines that make journalism a joy. Reader Norman Lawson recalls another classic from the Second World War, when a local paper seemed to boldly claim that one of the era’s heroes may have had some trouser trouble.
The headline stated: “Monty flies back to front.”
Write and wrong
A GRAMMATICAL point, made with some gravitas, by reader Maurice Bonner, who says: “In the old days, excessive use of commas was considered to be a serious crime. It usually resulted in a long sentence.”
Scrapping scrawling
SATISFIED Stewart Daniels from Cairneyhill admits that he’s been enjoying our recent focus on graffiti, though he fears that it will be short lived.
“Graffiti is dead,” he informs us. “The writing’s on the wall.”
Player of games
“I LOVE playing chess with people I meet in the park,” says reader David Marshall. “Though sometimes it’s not easy finding 32 of them willing to take part.”
Read more: So who said Euro glory is outwith Scotland's reach?
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