Shirley some mistake?
THIS is the time of year for strange occurrences and mystic moments, as any passing gang of three wise men will happily testify. Faithful readers of this column will recall last year’s Christmas miracle, when we reported that large woollen tea cosies were mysteriously appearing on top of Scottish post-boxes.
This year we have been provided with photographic evidence of a stray emu munching from a bin next to a bus stop in Livingston.
Locals have been debating whether it is Rod Hull’s former colleague, now fallen on hard times after the passing of the double act’s senior partner.
Others speculate that it is an exotic Christmas treat, replacing the more traditional turkey, and now making a bid for freedom like Steve McQueen in The Great Escape.
The most likely scenario is provided by one witness who says with some authority that it is owned by a local cattery, and its name is Shirley. (Which the Diary thinks is a rather delightful name for a wandering emu.)
College calamity
A TALE of dashed dreams and academic ineptitude from River City and Still Game star, Sanjeev Kohli, who says: “I didn’t get into the College of Hypnotism. I failed the entrance exam.”
Legging it
CULINARY-MINDED reader Melinda Hodges gets in touch to say: “If most spiders were as big as lobsters people would eat them in posh restaurants and get charged an arm and a leg… or four arms and four legs, I should say.”
Crimbo crocked
IT has been another difficult December, with government restrictions once again hovering over would-be revellers, like a tinsel-wrapped sword of Damocles.
With a resigned shrug, reader Julie Daniels says: “This year my Christmas tree lights have gone out more times than I have.”
Food for thought
CHARLOTTE Mountford, the co-director of the Lyth Arts Centre in Caithness, says it’s “that time of year where we discuss what everyone calls a 'buffet style meal'. In my family it's 'picky tea'. But my fave is my brother’s partner, who calls it 'stuff on a plate'.”
No laughing matter
FORGING a successful career in this current era of uncertainty can be difficult. Reader Harvey Benjamin says: “My boss always laughed at my jokes when I was in the office. But when lockdowns started he never laughed at them during Zoom chats.”
Harvey enquired why this was the case. His boss replied: "Because your jokes aren't remotely funny."
The numbers racket
MATHEMATICALLY-MINDED reader Ian Noble tells us: “4/3 people don’t understand fractions.”
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules hereLast Updated:
Report this comment Cancel