WE are reminiscing about that mythic mountain of a man, Meat Loaf, who sadly died recently. Back in 1988 Glasgow lawyer Matthew Berlow saw the rock star singing in The Stone Pony, a small but legendary bar and music venue in Asbury Park, New Jersey.

Matthew was up front enjoying the big chap’s performance. Yet despite Mr Loaf’s towering and mesmerising stage presence our correspondent found himself staring (drooling) at the blonde backing singers.

“I was kind of leaning on the stage when Meat came forward and stood on my hand,” says Matthew.

“Luckily, I was too drunk and excited and young to feel the pain.”

Unlawful remark

A RECENT Diary tale about Scotland’s favourite celebrity, Nessie, reminds Russell Smith, from Largs, of a rather ungallant friend of his who was certain his mother-in-law was paid by VisitScotland to swim in Loch Ness early in the tourist season.

No teething troubles

A RELIEVED reader recently told us he was lucky his dentist lived up to his name, which was Mr Kindness.

“I too was fortunate in that my two early dentists did NOT live up to their names,” says Tom Graham from Troon. “The first was Mr Wales, who was followed by Mr Payne.”

The numbers racket

MISHEARD song lyrics, continued. When Gordon Fisher, from Stewarton, first listened to croaky country crooner Kenny Rogers, he misheard the line, "You picked a fine time to leave me Lucille, four hungry children and a crop in the field."

“I thought the bewhiskered belterooterer was singing ‘four hundred children’,” admits Gordon, whose sister later explained what was actually being sung.

Which led our still confused reader to conclude: “No wonder they were hungry if the other 396 kept getting in there first."

Wheely fast

THERE’S been some woeful weather of late, points out Mandy Jones, from Langside, Glasgow, who adds: “Thanks to the atrocious winds my wheelie bin now has to go on a speed awareness course next week.”

Prime time promo

THE Diary was sad to hear about the death of writer and performer Barry Cryer. Barry wrote for many top Scottish acts, including Stanley Baxter and Ronnie Corbett.

We recall his tale about checking into the Europa Hotel in Belfast during the Troubles, with fellow funnyman, Willie Rushton.

They had to complete a visitors' form, and one question was: ‘How did you hear about us?’

Willie Rushton wrote: ‘The News At Ten’.

Too much tome

SOME wise words from reader Melanie Jennings, who says: “Never read a pop-up book about giraffes.”