Purple reign
THE BRIT Awards were held earlier this week and Fife rocker KT Tunstall has been recalling a previous ceremony, back in 2006, when she was anointed British Female Solo Artist of the Year.
Better yet, she bumped into Led Zeppelin guitarist, Jimmy Page, who informed KT that he loved her boots.
Tunstall attended that year’s shindig with her mum. At one point in the evening the late, great purple-clad pop pixie, Prince, pranced on stage and proceeded to blow away his awe-struck audience with a typically exuberant performance.
KT’s mum turned to her daughter and said: “Oooh, he’s good, isn’t he?”
Alas, there was no award for understatement that year, for if there had been, it surely would have been bagged by the elder Tunstall.
Art attack
GLASGOW’S Burrell Collection reopens at the end of March and reader Jim Jackson recalls the time his wife, who is a teacher, visited the museum with her primary class.
During a fascinating morning admiring precious artefacts, she at one point informed the group that the room they were about to enter held yet more displays to delight inquiring minds.
This prompted one pupil to exclaim: “Aw naw! No’ mair auld cairpets and broken stuff.”
Hard facts
SCIENTISTS have conducted tests which revealed that Stonehenge is made from a nearly indestructible material.
Smarty-pants reader Paul Warrilow says: “Maybe I’m going out on a limb, here. But could that material be… stone? Or perhaps I’m wrong and it’s actually henge.”
Harsh blow
THE British economy is in a precarious place right now, points out reader Duncan Sherburne, who adds: “Let’s be honest. No industry is getting hit harder with inflation than the balloon industry.”
Hair-raising harangue
WHEN Ian Blackford was ejected from Parliament for calling Boris Johnson a liar the Diary decided to help the SNP’s Leader in Westminster by devising alternative phrases he can safely use in future House of Commons altercations with BoJo.
Jeremy Barrett suggests: “The Right Honourable Gentleman has as much knowledge of the truth as he has of a hairbrush.”
Machine man
THE grandson of reader Anne McKinley runs the IT department in a busy Glasgow city centre office. He recently popped round to visit his grandparents and when he spotted his grandpa, prone on the sofa, deep in slumber, he turned to Anne and said: “Have you tried switching him off and on again?”
A-moo-sing
“HOW do you know which cow in the herd is on holiday?” asks reader Miriam Knowles. “Easy. It’s the one with the wee calf.”
Read more: Meme of the Day
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