Girl/boy thing
A HERALD article about sexist clothing brands reminds David Black of the occasion when Clarks, the well-known purveyor of sensible shoes, got into a bit of a fankle after launching a range of footwear for teens.
The line for girls was called the Dolly Babe while the boys' equivalent was the Leader.
In a spirit of mischievous jest our reader notified a feisty feminist friend that henceforth he would address her as Dolly Babe. She was rightly indignant, but after a while coyly admitted that she had rather warmed to the insult and would continue to put up with it, provided she could refer to David as… Butch Boot.
“The arrangement still stands,” reveals David. (Or should that be Butch?)
Maddening mastication
MORE shoe shenanigans. Brian Logan from Langside informs us of a chap who was waiting on a bus, having just placed a pair of new shoes on the ground. With justifiable consternation he saw a cat nibble the footwear, then sprint off, disappearing through a cat flap into a house.
Reaching the house, the man rang the bell. When a young lad opened the door, he saw the cat in the hall and said: “Pardon me boy, is that the cat that chewed my new shoes?”
PM punctured
WHEN Ian Blackford was ejected from Parliament for calling the Prime Minister a liar the Diary decided to help the SNP’s Westminster leader by devising alternative phrases he can safely use.
Russell Smith from Largs suggests: “Boris Johnson doesn’t just speak with a forked tongue. He has the full canteen of cutlery at his disposal.”
Coastal calamity
WITH Valentine’s Day being yesterday, reader Kelly Anderson found herself recalling the time she heard a teenage girl on a bus into Glasgow moaning to a gal pal that she had just been dumped by her boyfriend.
“Never mind, hen,” said the gal pal. “There’s plenty mair fish in the sea.”
“Aye,” replied the first girl. “But there’s a fair amount o’ seaweed tae.”
Holiday hell
A FEW days ago Mary Harkins was watching Death in Paradise with her husband. Hubby wasn’t impressed by the long-running TV programme, set on a sun-kissed Caribbean holiday island. “There’s been about 500 murders on this show since it was first broadcast,” he harrumphed. “Serves them all right for not going to Butlins.”
Dry humour
MEDICALLY-MINDED reader Scott Marshall has been investigating the condition known as dry skin and has arrived at a greater understanding of what causes it.
“It’s towels,” he triumphantly reports.
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules here