Mixed messaging
SHOPPING in Glasgow, reader Rhona Kingsnorth found herself in St Enoch Centre, walking behind a squabbling mother and her son, who was about five. “That’s it!” snarled mum. “We’re going home.”
The child considered this for a moment, perhaps thinking of the many food and clothes stores he’d be deprived of visiting.
Then, with a look of beatific bliss on his face, he muttered two short words. “Fan,” he said. “Tastic.”
“Well, if that’s how you feel about it,” retorted the little chap’s parent, “we’re shopping till midnight.”
Liquid languishing
LAST weekend Andy Murphy from Paisley was preparing for a wine-soaked evening at home with the wife when his daughter phoned to plead with mum and dad to look after her baby so she could go out.
Andy reluctantly agreed to stay sensibly sober, though his wife continued tippling.
“I took charge of a bottle of milk and a bottle of red,” says Andy. “And I was never entirely sure who to feed first in order to prevent a night of grumpy greeting.”
Hot gossip
IN a café in Glasgow’s West End, reader Pamela Austin overheard two elderly, well-dressed ladies chatting at the next table.
One lady delightedly whispered to her chum what she no doubt assumed was a titbit of tantalising gossip.
The chum didn’t look particularly captivated.
“Well, I must say,” she sniffed, “that was moderately interesting.”
In the drink
WELL-INFORMED reader Ross Corrigan says: “I’ve just heard about a flood in a lemonade factory. Apparently the staff were Schwepped away.”
Table waiting
A DIARY tale about vegetarianism reminds Iain Munro of visiting a swanky Edinburgh restaurant and ordering a meal called vegan rainbow pasta.
After waiting 45 minutes for it to arrive he enquired where it was. The snooty waiter informed him that such a dish took time to prepare.
“Is that because you have to wait till the end of a downpour?” asked an exasperated Iain. “So you have a fresh rainbow to cook?”
Trash talk
A GLAMOROUS showbiz tale. Glasgow radio presenter Callum Gallacher decided to jump on his wheelie bin in order to compact the garbage. The pesky thing toppled over, with Callum inside – a painful and embarrassing incident that garnered much sympathy from his girlfriend, fellow broadcaster Amber Zoe.
“If any of my neighbours would give me their CCTV footage,” she says, “I’d love that £250 from You’ve Been Framed.”
Colourful quiz
“WHAT type of country would Scotland be if all the cars were pink?” asks Hugh Peebles. “A pink car nation, of course.”
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