On the button
SECONDARY pupils are very wise and knowledgeable, as former maths teacher Debbie Meehan once discovered while discussing general knowledge with one of her charges.
“Some people DO remember when they are born," declared this student.
"No they don't; no one remembers being born," replied Debbie.
"Yes they do,” parried the pugnacious pupil. “They have that condition that guy Benjamin Button had."
"It wasn't a documentary," Debbie patiently explained, while no doubt wishing the misinformed youth would just button it.
Old boy
FOR those who don’t remember the movie mentioned above, Benjamin Button is about a chap who is born an elderly man, then gets younger as he proceeds through life.
Which brings us to Hugh Dougherty. Twenty-seven years ago he was a press officer with Strathclyde Regional Council, handling the story of Bearsden Academy's fake pupil, Brandon Lee.
Hugh tells us he was disappointed not to be approached by the makers of the documentary, My Old School, which recalls when Brandon, aged 30, posed as a 17 year-old pupil at his former school.
"I'd have been happy to have entered into the spirit of the film," says Hugh. "I could have played the part of a 44-year-old press officer as a 71 year-old, and no one would have noticed the difference."
Attic artifact
THE grandfather of reader Joe Knox found a black object in the loft which was roughly 120inches in diameter with a hole in the middle. “It appears to have been there for over 60 years,” says Joe. “Is this a record?”
Barrel of laughs
A DIARY tale about a classical composer inspires reader Gordon Casely to devise the following advertising slogan to be used in music shops…
Barrel organ for sale.
Works by Handel.
Food woe
GREGARIOUS Diary correspondent Iona McKay tells us: “I don't like eating pasta on my own. I get cannelloni.”
Job jinx
A DIARY discussion about job references reminds Malcolm Boyd from Milngavie of his career as a personnel officer, when employees would often request a reference from him.
Jokingly, he would ask them to choose from two well-used statements:
1) This person sets a very low standard of his work which he constantly fails to achieve.
2) If you can get this person to work for you, you will be very lucky.
Mass-produced meh
QUESTION of the day from reader Darren Murray: “What do you call a factory that makes products that are just okay?”
The answer is, of course… a satisfactory.
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