THE Diary was sad to hear of the recent death of Denise Coffey, the talented comic actress who often worked with Stanley Baxter, and starred opposite Sir David Jason and several members of the Monty Python gang early in their careers in the TV show Do Not Adjust Your Set.

Denise studied drama in Glasgow before commencing her professional career in Edinburgh.

The broadcaster Matthew Sweet performed with her a few years ago.

“We were walking back from the venue and during an animated speech she let loose the most thunderous fart,” recalls Matthew. “She made a coquettish apology in the voice of Dorothy Wordsworth and then continued.”

With no little amount of awe, Matthew adds: “It was hard not to applaud.”

Classy klutz

YEARS ago, Gordon Fisher, from Stewarton, was relaxing in the pub, attempting to immerse himself in the poetic language of his Herald newspaper, a task that was made difficult due to a Rangers game being broadcast in the vicinity.

This was the era when Brian Laudrup wore blue, and all the Gers faithful were oohing and aahing the dashing Dane’s every dribble and dunt of the ball.

Suddenly, Laudrup lost his balance and the startled TV commentator pointed out the superstar had tumbled over the corner flag.

In a tone combining pride and wonderment, one of the stalwart fans in the pub added: "Aye, but did ye see the way he fell into the flag? That wis pure class!"

Quaver haver

EVEN the mightiest politician runs the risk of being poleaxed by a pithy one-liner. Which is why we fear for the future career of a certain football referee and Tory grandee.

For graffiti has been spotted on a wall in Montrose that articulates the damning indictment: "Douglas Ross eats salt and vinegar Quavers."

Can the beleaguered politico recover from this slight? Only time will tell…

Arcadia angst

THE clocks went forward at the weekend. Reader Jennifer Shelton says: “Wish they’d gone backwards instead, to that pastorally blissful era before Rishi Sunak’s budget speech.”

Loadsa liberty

ON a train into Glasgow, reader Jake Harvey spotted a teenage girl gesturing excitedly out the widow while trilling to her boyfriend: “Look! Over there! Isnae that the Statue of Liberty?”

“The Statue of Liberty’s in America,” explained the wise lad.

“Aye, but doesae every country huv one?” countered the persistent lass.

Petulant about petals

“MY wife is always moaning that I don’t buy her flowers,” says reader Dave Jordan. “To be honest, I didn’t know she sold flowers.”