Missing out
JK Rowling has been explaining how she got any scribbling done before she hit the big time.
The Edinburgh author reveals that when working in an office she never met anyone for lunch so she could use the hour to write.
The Diary commends her discipline, though wonders if the sacrifice was worth it.
Okay, she’s a multimillionaire, famous throughout the world, a Hollywood hit and a publishing sensation.
But surely she must sometimes regret avoiding sharing a sandwich with Sandra from accounts.
For now she’ll never discover who snogged who at the office party in 1995, and why Chatty Dave from sales was let go on such short notice...
HT mystery
A DIARY tale about perplexed pupils reminds former maths teacher Debbie Meehan of the occasion when the head teacher of her school spoke to her while she was teaching a first-year class.
Although she asked the class to quietly continue with their work, there was a great deal of chatter.
When the head left, she reprimanded the class, saying: “Do you know who that was?”
Being new to the school, most of them had only seen him supervising the arrival and departure of school buses.
“I’ll give you a clue,” said Debbie. “On his office door it says HT.”
An eager hand shot into the air.
“Head of Transport?” said the owner of the eager hand.
Right… or wrong?
ANOTHER school tale. Teacher Bob Murphy received a book report from a high school student which simply read "Rubbish righting."
“Critic, heal thyself,” muses Bob.
F factor
WATCHING a nature programme on TV, Ian Noble from Carstairs Village suddenly realised the significance of the letter "F" in the animal lifecycle.
Explains Ian: “They spend their entire existence fighting, fleeing, feeding or mating.”
Fiendish Fido
“IT’S claimed a dog is man’s best friend,” says reader Maurice Gilbert. “But I don’t even have enemies that look me dead in the eye while making a puddle on my carpet.”
Dressed to thrill
THE normally sedate and respectable Diary finds itself discussing the frivolities of the fashion scene, especially the skimpy attire worn at events such as the Grammy Awards.
Russell Smith from Largs says: “My guidance as a devotee of daring décolletage to those aiming to make their mark in haute couture is that a well-presented neckline should show just the right amount of knee.”
Vocal coach
ANIMAL lover Marnie Brown says: “If you have a pet parrot and don’t teach it to say, ‘Help, they’ve turned me into a parrot’, you’re wasting you’re time.”
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