Purrfect festival

SCOTLAND’S Festival for Science Fiction, Fantasy and Horror Writing, known as Cymera, took place in Edinburgh at the weekend.

With a bunch of writers from each of those quirky genres jetting in from around the world, it’s no wonder that some highly eclectic conversations took place.

Texan sci-fi novelist Dale Thomas Vaughn certainly enjoyed the chinwaggery, saying: “Was out late at night in Edinburgh with authors and big thinkers, discussing topics like Kierkegaard, Irish history, Brazilian politics, the mathematical limit of text-to-speech, how to courier cats, and yes… sci-fi.”

The Diary is glad the gang got round to sci-fi eventually. Though, quite frankly, all we want to hear about is how to courier cats.

Agony and Adam

GLASGOW screenwriter Michael Lee Richardson visited the dentist and discovered an Adam Sandler movie, Grown Ups, was playing in the waiting room.

“Presumably to make a filling seem less bad by comparison,” concludes Michael.

Oh, no… BoJo

THE Diary continues to race ahead of all other media outlets, and can today reveal the exclusive news that Boris Johnson may be having a few minor difficulties with his own political party.

Reader Judith Thornton, who is also in on our scoop, says: “I hear there’s a terrific TV show about Boris’s experiences as Prime Minister in 2022. At least that’s what I assume it’s about. It’s called The Walking Dead.”

Bum deal

WE mentioned a Chinese clothing brand called Pootest who make headwear. David Donaldson, who proudly bought a hat from the firm, says: “The big advantage of a Pootest sun hat is that it can help prevent both melanoma AND bowel cancer. They should be available on prescription from NHS Scotland.”

Rod… or Rex?

THE chivalrous Diary has been attempting to protect the reputation of a certain ageing rock star, whose singing at the Party at the Palace shindig has been gleefully mocked in some quarters.

To curb the catty culprits, we’re shining a harsh spotlight on their invective, hoping it will shame them into future silence.

So it’s with great sadness that we note the guffawing of some bloke on Twitter, who says: “Rod Stewart doing Sweet Caroline is like a cross between Rex Harrison and a coughing owl.”


OUR readers like to confuse and amuse in equal measure. When asked how to spell his surname, reader Bill Thompson always says: “Thompson with a P, which is silent, as in bath.”

Lot of bottle

“I BOUGHT a 12-year-old whisky the other day,” says reader Ralph Kent. “His parents weren’t very happy.”

Read more: Meme of the Day