Taps aff
WHETHER it be in politics, fashion or culture, the Diary likes to be the first to spot a new trend. Which is why we are excited to report that west end resident Deedee Cuddihy has spied a discarded brassiere on a street near where she lives.
Our more obsessive readers may recall that Deedee recently reported a similar garment dangling from the roof of a museum.
Is there now to be a proliferation of bras, scattered upon pavements and dripping from buildings, that pedestrians will have to swerve around, leap over or burrow under?
Deedee doesn’t know for sure. Though the Diary can but speculate that this heralds the return of that proud feminist statement of yesteryear, when women burned their bras as a rejection of patriarchal values.
Of course, the bras of today are merely being tossed away, not set aflame.
We conclude that this is because fuel prices are rocketing. Only a fickle feminist, with money to burn, would waste lighter fluid.
Money moans
ON the subject of finances… Ronnie Williams from North Berwick informed his wife that he paid £25 to fix a puncture, before sadly recalling when it was only a fiver.
His wife unsympathetically replied: “It’s all down to inflation.”
Hitting out
LEGENDARY entertainer Andy Cameron tells us of the lady golfer at the prestigious Glasgow Golf Club in Killermont, Bearsden, who was disappointed to learn that Chip Beck was a well known American golfer, and not what the ladies of Killie did when their ball was hit through the green…
Size matters
THOUGHT for the day from reader Edward Payne, who says: “There is a certain size at which a cup becomes a bucket.”
Mind your language
WE continue extolling the virtues of the mighty comma. It may be a toaty wee hing, but it’s a giant in grammatical terms.
Russell Smith from Largs reminds us of two very different sentences: “What is this thing called love?” and “What is this thing called, love?”
The first sentence is something Romeo often whispered to Juliet. The second sentence is what Romeo whispered to Juliet after he spotted the pet gnu she kept chained in her boudoir…
Brought to book
WE mentioned our desire to obtain a copy of a certain Scottish novel, which reminds John Robertson of that other Scottish novel, ‘Running to the Outhouse’ by Willy Makeit, with illustrations by Betty Disney.
Family matters
“I’VE been thinking about adoption for quite a while,” says reader Len Jones. “Unfortunately I'm 63. And who wants to adopt a 63-year-old?”
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