HAVING noticed that strikes, inflation and Kate Bush are back in fashion, the Diary is now assuming the UK has travelled back in time to the 1970s, a dirge of a decade whose only purpose was to show by comparison how dreamily decadent the 1960s had been.

With this in mind, we are compiling a list of things from the 1970s that were just a bit rubbish.

Hugh Steele, from Cumbernauld, recalls those plastic sauce dispensers, shaped like tomatoes, whose appearance on Formica tabletops was a sure sign you were about to enjoy a sophisticated dining experience in Edward Heath’s Britain.

“If you whacked ‘em hard enough, you could get the ketchup right up to the ceiling,” recalls Hugh with pride.

Culturally clued-up

IT was recently reported that burly builders are not bereft of a tender side. Research shows many construction workers discuss their emotions with colleagues. They also enjoy literature and fine art.

This reminds David Donaldson of the chap with a pronounced Irish accent who applied for a job on a building site.

"What's the difference between a joist and a girder?" asked the foreman.

"Well,” replied the applicant. “Joyce was an Irish author while Goethe was a German polymath.”

Pragmatic positivity

EVER optimistic Glasgow comedian Frankie Boyle says: “Remember that although it feels like your problems are insurmountable today, in a few months you’ll have completely forgotten them, when you get a three grand gas bill.”

Job jabber

“BEING a waiter isn’t especially glamorous,” says reader Charlie Harris. “But at least it puts food on the table.”

Sound of silence

ROWDY rocker Liam Gallagher played Hampden yesterday. Richard Davis, based in Vienna, was intrigued to peruse a list of banned and permitted items for the Glasgow gig.

Flares were on the banned list, which is understandable. Though our reader was more interested in the permitted list, which included, perhaps even more understandably… ear plugs.

Rock of ages

ANOTHER musical tale. Opinion is divided regarding whether a certain former Beatle triumphed at the weekend.

Glasgow playwright Kieran Hurley adds to the debate by saying: “Paul McCartney may be 80 years old and headlining Glastonbury with a six-decade back catalogue of songs that revolutionised music forever. But I'm in my mid-30s and have managed to stay up 'til half past midnight. So who can tell whose is the greater achievement.”

The brush-off

A NEWS bulletin from reader Lisa Munro: “Police are investigating why the plaque on the wall outside the Colgate head office keeps disappearing…”