Egyptology for beginners
PAISLEY history teacher Roger Bentley recalls explaining to a group of first year pupils that the Great Pyramid of Giza was built more than 3,000 years ago, using 2.3 million large blocks of limestone, weighing six million tonnes in total.
Roger then asked the class how such an undertaking could be achieved without the benefit of advanced modern technology.
One young scholar thrust an eager hand in the air.
“Was it cos this was before gravity was invented?” he asked.
Scone away
DISTURBING news from Glasgow, where the Duke of Wellington statue outside the Gallery of Modern Art has been spotted without his traffic cone hat.
As you can imagine, the locals are not taking this desecration of a famous landmark lightly, and on social media a doom-laden prophesy is gloomily referenced: “If the Duke is unconed, no more tattie scones.”
Party politics
TIME for some fun and games, courtesy of reader Jim Morrison, who overheard a member of Inchinnan Bowling Club say to a chum: “I see the Tory party chairman has resigned.”
Quick as a flash, the chum responded: “I suppose that will mean there’s a vacancy for Boris’s wife after all, as I believe she was a very good party organiser during lockdown.”
Book nook
WE recently mentioned our desire to obtain a couple of new Scottish novels we’re eager to peruse.
Fellow bibliophile Russell Smith from Largs tells us of another local work of literature which is a real page turner.
Nail in the Banister by R Stornoway.
Cash and carry
THE Queen’s eldest son is in a spot of bother regarding a few million quid he received from a Qatari dignitary for one of his charities, which was handed over in a rather unconventional fashion. (To say the least.)
Which leads Gavin Weir from Ochiltree to ask: “Is Prince Charles’s favourite blues song Sheikh Your Money Maker?”
Deeply dippy sweets
HAVING discovered that the UK has returned to the 1970s, with strikes and inflation, we’re compiling a list of things from that decade that were just a bit rubbish.
Debbie Miller recalls the sweetie cigarettes that helpfully encouraged children to smoke, years before they could suckle a Benson & Hedges legally.
“It could have been worse,” admits Debbie. “At least my local corner shop didn’t sell chocolate hypodermic needles and candy cocaine in the form of sherbet dips.”
Nighty night nip
“I HAD a nightmare that something bit my neck,” shudders reader Pauline Foster. “So I got up to check. But the bathroom mirror wasn’t working.”
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