THE Diary recently reported the terrifying true story of a breed of huge spiders that proliferated near the Hunterston A power station in Ayrshire.

We realise our readers are a delicate tribe, so we won’t reveal precisely how massive these arachnids were.

Though we will say that the eight-legged freaks would have come in handy during the current crises in fuel prices. For instead of driving to work, it would be cheaper to saddle up a Hunterston spider, then gallop the beastie down the M8.

Meanwhile, optimistic reader Brian Chrystal says: “Nuclear power stations can be good for us. A chap fishing on the shore near Torness told me he enjoyed an excellent leg of cod for dinner.”

Gutsy performance

THE Diary’s Book Nook is proving wonderfully inspiring. We imagine that thousands of people are now tossing their mobile phones in bins, preferring to read great works of literature rather than scroll through endless messages on Twitter.

(We certainly hope people are discarding their mobiles, for the Diary has ordered a crack team of investigative reporters to rummage through the trashcans of Scotland, in the hope we can pick up a bunch of phones to play with back in the office. We’re getting bored reading all those pesky books.)

Carl Williamson, from Largs, is not merely a lover of literature. He has also been enjoying Wimbledon, which is why he suggests we add to our library of terrific tomes a volume titled… Trials Of A Spanish Tennis Player by Buster Gut.

New balls, please

TENNIS, continued. The grassy bump next to Wimbledon’s Centre Court has been referred to as Henman Hill and Murray Mound. We’re wondering what to call it if Cameron Norrie continues to improve as a player. Graham Rintoul, from Kirkintilloch, suggests Norrie's Knoll.


WE hear rumours that a certain tousle-haired master of bluster and buffoonery has been frantically polishing his CV, adding exaggerations, distortions and fantastical fibs.

On a related matter, reader David Donaldson has a friend who suggests Mr Johnson may be elevated to the other House, where he will be grandly titled… Lord Huboris.

In the drink

WE’RE discussing the properties of a curious liquid that goes by the name of water. (You may have heard of it. It’s very much like whisky, only without the colour, taste and delightful side-effects.)

Reader Joe Knox says: “I was wondering if semi-skimmed water is H1O.”

Gobbler not gobbled

HAVING decided to go on a diet, reader Julie Wright says: “I don’t eat sandwiches, any more. I quit cold turkey.”