Ta-ta Tony
A DIARY mention of a legendary Hollywood star reminds comedian Andy Cameron of his teenage years, when he invested a week’s wages on a Tony Curtis haircut at Fuscos barber emporium on Cambridge Street.
Impressed with the result, Andy wore out every shop window between Fuscos and Central Station admiring his nifty napper.
That night he took a young debutante to the State Picture House in Kings Park. Strolling home later, the couple were drenched in one of Glasgow’s famous summer monsoons.
Recalls Andy: ”The fact that this removed any chance of a winch was exacerbated the next morning when I discovered that Tony Curtis had disappeared, and looking back at me from the mirror was Oor Wullie.”
Cat’s number’s up
COIFFURE culture continued… Like cloistered nuns or monks, some hairdressers utter nary a word, preferring to focus on the tense business of wielding a sharp pair of scissors next to a customer’s head.
However, Malcolm Boyd’s snippety-snip merchant was so distraught the other day that he felt compelled to converse.
The poor chap told Malcolm that he was feeling sad because his cat had to be put down by the vet.
When Malcolm sympathised, the hairdresser sniffled that the worst part was when the vet charged him for nine appointments.
Staggering stat
THE Diary is always first to provide shocking statistics. Reader Jenny West tells us: “According to polls, 100% of people are willing to answer a poll.”
Political motions?
POLITICAL pontifications from reader David Hay, who was struck by the similarity of the Tory Party Conference slogan "Getting Britain Moving" and an advert on the telly for laxatives, which is "Gets Things Moving".
“There does seem to be a common theme,” muses David.
Hair-raising idea
HAIRDRESSING Hingmies, Part 3… The Diary is celebrating River City’s 20h anniversary by devising fresh storylines to invigorate the Scottish soap opera.
Alan Potter from Paisley suggests there might be an opening in the programme for a recently-ousted Tory leader.
“After all,” says Alan, “he may still be looking for suitable employment, so could open a gents' hairdresser in Shieldinch, in an episode titled… MendaCity.
Married alive
WEDDED woes. Russell Smith from Largs tells us his friend was boasting of being married 60 years, adding: “It seems like yesterday”.
This chap’s wife countered: “And you know what yesterday was like. If it was tomorrow, I’d cancel it.”
Pet cemetery
ANOTHER tragic animal yarn. Grieving reader Laura Morrall wails: “My turtle just died of a reptile dysfunction.”
Read more from the Diary: Cutting remark about a battle royal
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