Other people

POOR old Ewan McGregor has been dissed by a diary. Not this one, we hasten to add. We’re much too polite to have a pugnacious pop.

We’re also rather fond of Ewan, who, impressively, is one of the few Scottish actors who doesn’t earn his crust from appearances in River City, Scot Squad, Two Doors Down or panto.

No, Ewan is a bona fide big shot, a red carpet regular. His career runs the gamut from Star Wars to Star Wars, with some Star Wars in between.

There’s probably other stuff too, which we’ll Google later.

With such success, is it any wonder that Ewan might be a little bit in love with Ewan? That’s the allegation made by the late film star Alan Rickman. In his recently published diary he accuses his fellow thespian of being “self-involved to a jaw-dropping degree”.

We don’t know if this is true. If it is, we have the perfect cure. Ewan should become obsessed with other people’s fascinating lives instead, by regularly perusing the Herald Diary.

Here’s some classic yarns from our archives to give Mr McGregor a little taster…

Clean getaway

A FIRST-WORLD problem recalled by a reader in Glasgow’s south side, who said: “I once heard a woman moan that she had to keep moving around her house in order to avoid her cleaner.”

Flight of fancy

A BEARSDEN reader on an internal flight in Australia told us the pilot announced: “The weather at the destination is 24 degrees with some broken cloud.”

He added: “But we’ll try to have them fixed before we arrive.”

Horsing around

RELAXING in a Glasgow café, a reader overheard a woman at a nearby table inform her pal that her husband had taken up riding lessons as part of a new healthy living kick.

“How’s he getting on?” asked her pal.

“Judging by his size, with a crane,” said the wife.

Corking comment

A CHAP was dining in the Central Hotel. The wine being off, the waiter was summoned and told it was corked. After a moment’s pondering, he replied: “A' the best wines is corked, sir.”

Lot of bottle

A READER was in a health store at Silverburn shopping centre when an elderly lady following her daughter around looked at all the bottles on the shelves and announced: “When I was young vitamins only went up to C.”

Bum deal

A RETIRED teacher told us: “My favourite sick note from a parent stated that her son was absent due to ‘direrear’ – in my opinion a very apt description of the effect the ailment has.”

Tender tablet treatment

A POINT about the modern word from a reader who said: “People will trust you to hold their baby… but not their iPad.”

Read more: Full steam ahead for Liz Truss