WITH furrowed brow she ploughed a lonely furrow. Poor Liz Truss. Undermined by the very markets she reveres. Friendless after spurning her friends.
Still, some Tory backbenchers remained behind the Prime Minister (not where you want them generally) as she arrived in the Commons chamber to uncertain cheers, like a circus clown in a suicide vest.
At Prime Minister’s Questions, Labour’s Justin Madders brandished the Liz-taming whip right away, demanding an apology for “crashing the economy”. Liz: “I have been very clear” – loud laughter as she tottered on the high wire – “that I am sorry, and that I have made mistakes.” Never mind, to err is human. To trust the markets is dumb.
No chance of Labour leader Sir Keir Starmer staying dumb on Liz’s plight yesterday. “A book is being written about the Prime Minister’s time in office,” quoth he. “Apparently, it’s going to be out by Christmas. Is that the release date or the title?”
Liz claimed she’d achieved more in two months than Sir Keir in two and a half years of opposition. Depends what you mean by “achieved”. Many MPs have achieved a hangover/bankruptcy/syphilis.
“I have also taken steps,” the PM added, “to crack down on the militant unions.” As with last week’s “energy price guarantee” answer to every question, this was the week’s chosen deflection. It was so obviously a tactic. You shouldn’t see the joins in a tactic. Ars est celare artem. You have celery on your a***.
The PM clarified: “I am somebody who is prepared to front up.” That’s funny, she’s spent the past week backing off. Besides which, you shouldn’t have to blow your own trumpet like this. It’s unseemly. It’s up to others to do that for you (silence from Tory benches followed by the lone parping raspberry of a kazoo).
When Sir Keir wondered if she believed mortgage payers were saying “I don’t mind financial ruin. At least she apologised”, Ms Truss suggested Labour try recognising “economic reality” – it’s over there, in rags – and then she put up the militant union deflection shields again: “He backs the strikers. We back the strivers.” How very Johnsonian. Boris of that ilk must have been spinning in his hammock.
“He is refusing to condemn the strikers,” she went on. “We are on the side of working people.” On their back, more like.
Labour’s backbenches went into pantomime mode. Sir K: “Forty-five p. tax cut!” Backbenchers in unison: “Gone!” “Corporation tax cut!” “Gone!” “Twenty p. tax cut!” “Gone!” “Two-year energy freeze!” “Gone! “Tax-free shopping!” “Gone!” “Economic credibility!” “Gone!” Mr Starmer added that Liz’s former friend, the equally former Chancellor, had “gone as well”. So, the Labour leader asked, “why is she still here?” I don’t know. Maybe she just comes in for a wee heat.
Fiery dragon Liz gave it tongue fu: “I am a fighter and not a quitter.” Demarcation dispute: everybody out! As the BBC pointed out, this line was first uttered by former Labour minister Lord Mandelson, bringing to mind images of the infamous fop flailing manicured fists ineffectually against a particularly flabby blancmange.
Speaking of which (sorry, these impertinent links just keep happening), the SNP’s Westminster leader Ian Blackford fell to the occasion spectacularly yesterday, sticking to his script regardless of l’actualité.
In the pious, rising and falling tones of the Rev I.M. Jolly, he averred: “Her latest broken promise has put pensioners in the front line of Tory cuts.” This referred to the threatened triple-lock on pensions.
PM: “I honestly don’t know what the honourable gentleman is talking about. We have been clear in our manifesto that we will maintain the triple-lock, and I am completely committed to it. So is the Chancellor.” There was your headline. But Ian stuck to his lane: “She’s just thrown 12 million pensioners under the Tory bus.”
Riposted Liz: “I don’t think the honourable gentleman can take yes for an answer.” He can if his question is: do you have any pies?
Ms Truss finished with the traditional go at the Scotch, saying that, if Ian was so committed to economic stability, why did he persist with pursuing “separatism” – unionist bingo klaxon – which would “plunge the Scottish economy into chaos”. Economic chaos: whoever heard of such a thing?
Yesterday’s chaotic proceedings were notable for the usual leftist rhetoric from Tory backbenchers, with John Baron arguing for compassion in domestic policy, and Andrew Mitchell pleading for “the poorest people in the world”.
Averred Liz: “We are compassionate Conservatives.” Yep, they knee you in the nads then offer you a lift to a private hospital.
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