Ludo-crous suggestion
THE Diary is a keen follower of the elite-level sport that is darts, and we fondly recall the glory days of the late Jocky Wilson, Scotland’s greatest ever athlete.
Though small in stature, Jocky had the heart of a lion.
In fact, he was more ferocious than a mere lion, for a lion might be fairly adept at sneaking up on a grazing buffalo in the Serengeti, but shove a dart in its paw, then guide it to the nearest oche, and it will be lucky to get anywhere near the treble 20.
We’re such huge fans of darts at Diary Towers that our Editor has even taken up the sport. Though instead of purchasing a corkboard for the office wall, he prefers to chuck pointy pieces of metal at subordinates. (Double20 for a reporter; a photographer warrants a bullseye.)
Undoubtedly the most exciting talent in the sport is 16-year-old Luke Littler, who is as much of a prodigy as the young Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, though Diary reader Jenny Robertson isn’t happy about Luke’s ascension.
“He’s nothing more than a child,” harrumphs Jenny. “At that age he shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near sharp objects. Someone should confiscate his darts immediately, and persuade him to play a nice, safe game of Ludo, instead.”
Hard news
CULTURALLY clued-up Bill Thompson from Lenzie says: “The best recent programme on TV was surely the BBC’s Viagra documentary. It certainly stood out from all other programmes.”
Animal magic
WE’RE intrigued to learn that Disney’s copyright on the early Mickey Mouse has expired, meaning other media outlets can now create content starring the superstar rodent.
Diary correspondent Barry Lambert says: “This is an excellent opportunity for The Herald to launch a comic strip starring a Scottish version of the character. I look forward to the humorous escapades of Mickey MacMoose.”
Doggy delights
HOGMANAY is over, though reader Mike Thomson’s 86-year-old father hasn’t finished celebrating yet.
Mike visited him on the second of January and the auld fella was still contentedly sipping whisky.
“I never just have a hair of the dog,” he explained to Mike. “I have its tail and hind legs, too”.
Fighting talk
WE mentioned New Year resolutions.
Grant Michaels tells us his wife never forgave a friend who once said to her: “My New Year resolution is to stop gossiping so much - you should make that your New Year resolution, too.”
Picture this
“IF two artists had a fight,” asks reader Mary Falconer, “would it end in a draw?”
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