More amore  

OUR amorous readers will be aware that this is the day of lurv, when couples temporarily forget their deep-seated bitterness, regrets and animosity, and hand each other a cheap Valentine’s Day card, purchased last minute, from the local garage or Poundland.

Though reader Joan Roberts has a more grandiose plan, including…

  1. Breakfast in bed.
  2. Chocolates.
  3. Watch movie.
  4. Dinner for two.
  5. Regret eating two dinners.


Sneaky Auld Reekie

WE mentioned that the aeons-old battle between two of Scotland’s most argy-bargy cities is heating up, and that Glasgow’s famous Willow Tea Rooms is to open a new site in Edinburgh.

Deedee Cuddihy was discussing this aggressive territorial manoeuvre with a family member, who said: "How long before Edinburgh steals Glasgow's incredibly successful ‘Glasgow's Miles Better’ slogan and switches it to ‘Edinburgh's Miles Better… than Glasgow’?” 


Walk this way

NOSTALGIC Peter Wright from West Kilbride recalls the blissful days he spent in Strathclyde’s Student Union in the 1970s.

At the time the Union’s main vertical thoroughfare was a square spiral staircase rising up through five floors.

During the beginning of each student year a sale of second-hand books took place on the top floor of the building, and there was understandable demand amongst impoverished students to bag a cheap literary bargain.

This resulted in a long queue occupying most of the five flights of stairs.

On one notorious occasion, Peter, claiming to be the Union President, persuaded the concierge to make an announcement.

"To avoid confusion on the stairs,” said this chap under Peter’s instructions, “would those going upstairs please keep to the right, and those coming downstairs please keep to the left."

Recalls Peter: “It wasn't difficult to differentiate between those that followed the rules and those that enjoyed a devilish sense of humour - the grin or disapproving scowl gave them away.”


Space-age sportsman

WE’RE celebrating people with wonderfully exotic names. ("Wonderfully exotic" being a polite way of saying "daft"’, of course.)

Brian Logan from Glasgow says: “In the 1960s there was an American professional golfer called Kermit Zarley. The comedian Bob Hope once quipped, ‘With a name like that he must be the pro from the moon.’”


Wacky weather woes

THE recent extreme meteorological conditions have inspired our readers to adapt titles of novels to reflect the circumstances.

David Donaldson suggests Rainspotting.