Winging it, continued

WE’RE discussing the pleasures of flying in small aeroplanes.

Ian Noble from Carstairs Village once travelled from Cardiff to Glasgow on something that looked disconcertingly similar to a shoebox with wings.

“We had a couple of hours before the flight,” recalls Ian, “and this was the era when bars closed at 2:30pm.”

To circumvent this inconvenience, a fellow passenger ordered six pints of bitter, which he rapidly quaffed.

The well-refreshed chap ended up sitting in the seat in front of Ian on the tiny plane.

Before take off he roared to the stewardess: “Waitress! I want to see this thing’s MOT.”


Kid’s stuff

WE mentioned children’s author Dr Seuss.

David Graham from Whitecraigs says: “I’m an admirer of his work, though if I needed emergency surgery, I’d be a tad nervous if he was my doctor.”


Gable gargles

THE Glasgow Film Festival starts soon, so we’re rewriting famous movie quotations as though they’d been delivered in Scotland.

David Donaldson suggests a slight improvement to that classic parting shot of Clark Gable in Gone with the Wind: “Frankly, my dear, I could do with a dram.”


Larking around

BOASTFUL reader Jack Burns tells us about his early morning routine. “I’m always up with the lark,” he says. “Mind you, I’m talking about a particularly lazy lark whose alarm clock doesn’t have any batteries.”

Picture perfect

NEWS from the bohemian artistic colony that is Glasgow’s West End.

Local author Deedee Cuddihy received a missive from Glasgow City Council regarding "impending changes to the existing Hillhead parking control scheme".

The letter explained: "Additional parking machines will be installed in the area. These will be existing machines brought in from another area and when initially installed they may be in poor condition aesthetically. However, once installed we will have them cleaned and repainted."

This delights Deedee, who says: “I love it that the council felt they needed to reassure residents about the look of the parking machines, because we are obviously very sensitive in the Hillhead area about that kind of thing.”

The Diary, meanwhile, reserves judgment until we’ve seen the primped-up parking machines.

Unless they’re repainted with images copied from the works of Da Vinci, Van Gogh and Matisse, we’ll be disappointed.


Birdy bliss

A DIARY tale about scientists bringing the dodo back from extinction excites animal loving Georgia Grant, who says: “How delightful. I’m looking forward to sampling dodo McNuggets.”

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Dream on

AN inspirational tale. “Everyone tells me to follow my dreams,” says reader Colin Sloan. “So I’m going back to bed.”