Tall tale

MOTORSPORT fans believe that it’s impossible to find anything speedier than Lewis Hamilton behind a steering wheel.

Cartoon aficionados disagree, and explain that nothing is nippier than Roadrunner meep-meeping round the bend, Wile E Cayote hot on his trail.

The truth is that the genuine fastest thing on Planet Earth is fake news,  as reader Andy Bollen discovered.

When asked by a colleague about the origin of the much-used idiom "rarer than hen’s teeth", Andy randomly suggested it surely must derive from Hen, the lanky fellow in the long-running cartoon strip The Broons.

Our creative reader added that poor old Hen is forever losing his false teeth, hence the veracity of the phrase.

A few hours later Andy was shocked when another somewhat amazed colleague told him the same Hen Broon tale. 


Keyed up

BEMUSED reader Gordon McRae switched on his laptop only to be greeted by a mysterious message which read: "To skip disk checking press any key within 7 seconds."

Gordon tells the Diary: “I checked my keyboard numerous times, but failed to find the 'any key' on it.


Sticky situation

THE other day reader Morag Travers was reading a magazine when she came across a feature about a vet who was advising what sort of animals do not make good pets.

“I decided to make my own list,” says Morag. “First, I’d recommend never buying a vampire bat because you might have mistakenly picked up Dracula from the pet shop, and he’s rubbish at playing fetch with a stick.”


Fear of flying

THE Diary is celebrating the delightful aeroplane jaunts that have been enjoyed by our readers.

This reminds Bob Byiers of a flight his brother and his wife took some years ago from Guernsey to Alderney in the Channel Islands. 

The weather wasn’t particularly good and Bob’s sister-in-law, a nervous flyer at the best of times, was less than encouraged when the pilot turned in his seat and started his pre-flight briefing by saying: "So, we're all feeling lucky today, are we?"


What doctor ordered

CONCERNED reader Ron Tierney says: “We keep hearing that the UK’s fighting forces are worryingly short on manpower, meaning the nation is in a very vulnerable situation regarding defence. The MoD should hire all the GP receptionists, because they’re not letting anyone through…”

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The shipping news

ONCE again the adventurous Diary voyages out to sea.

Frustrated reader Michelle Weaver tells us: “I really appreciate puns about ships, but funnelly enough I can’t think of one.”