Moral musings

THE West End of Glasgow can be an intimidating destination for humble folk who merely enjoy a casual chinwag over a cup of coffee.

For to enter a café in the West End is to be transported into a world of intellectual salons, where the conversation is as rarefied as the air circulating the pinnacle of Ben Nevis.

Reader Anna Mackay foolishly stumbled into one such place, where she overheard a young chap say to the girl he was with: “I’m so incorruptible that my very being revolts against the concept of betrayal, y’know?”

Says Anna: “I listened for a while longer. It transpired that he wasn’t in the middle of a lofty discourse on the philosophy of ethics. He was explaining to his girlfriend that, no, that wasn’t him who had been spotted by her pals the night before, snogging a random female in a nightclub.”


Scotland for beginners

FOR the last few years reader Mark Tyler has worked in London.

The other day a colleague admitted to having never visited Scotland. This fellow clearly felt rather ashamed about such a void in his cultural experiences, for he quickly added: “Though I did once watch an episode of Rab C. Nesbitt, back in the 1990s, so I’ve got a pretty sound idea what it’s all about.”


Bile buying

WATCHING the TV news, Tony Moore overheard a politician complain about a colleague from the other side of the House, whom he described as a “hatemonger”.

Says our impressed reader: “I’ve heard of costermongers and ironmongers, though never a hatemonger. Good to know that in the era of Amazon there are still shops selling useful items.”


Drop in anxiety

HELPFUL reader Chris Robertson says: “Remember, if you go skydiving and your parachute doesn’t open, don’t be unduly concerned, because Planet Earth isn’t really racing towards you. You’re racing towards Planet Earth.”


Silver-tongued fellow

ENJOYING lunch with a friend, Jeremy Bell had to laugh when his chum said of a mutual acquaintance: “He’s incredibly pretentious. He’d never steal the family silver. He’d purloin it instead.”


The clockwork testament

AMATEUR historian Harvey Smith points out: “There must have been a period of time - after the invention of the digital watch, and before the launch of a certain notorious social media site - when nobody used the phrase Tick-Tock.”

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Jumpy jumper

SHOPAHOLIC Alison Wood says: “A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity, so I returned it to the store. They gave me another one free of charge.”