Ribboned rogue

ON a train from Glasgow’s South Side into the city centre reader Lisa Parker noticed a mother with her daughter, who was about ten-years-old.

The little girl looked like she had been dragged from the pages of an Edwardian novel about life amongst the middle-classes.

Says Lisa: “Her mum had tied pink ribbons in her ringlets, and she was wearing a very old-fashioned dress.”

As sweet and innocent as the child appeared, there was possibly a darker soul lurking within. For her mother was giving her a row for being cheeky, and threatening all manner of punishments.

The youngster merely shrugged, then replied in a smug and squeaky voice: “You can’t scare me. I’d go to jail gladly, and break out the next day.”

Big ain’t best

AN English newspaper praised popular Scottish author Douglas Skelton, labelling him a crime writing giant.

Which should be good news, right? Not exactly.

Douglas isn’t delighted with the ‘giant’ epithet.

“Hmmm,” he says, “maybe I shouldn't have that roll and sausage for lunch.”

Energy drink

THE adult daughter of reader Brian Chrystal was with a female friend, buying a bottle of Vinho Verde in the Shawlands Aldi, using a self-service till, though they still needed staff authorisation.

"Ah!” smiled a helpful assistant. “Buying lady petrol, I see."

Sade becomes sad

THE Diary is ruining famous bands and singers by adding just one letter to their name.

AJ Clarence says that the sultry and jazz-influenced 80s pop chanteuse, Sade, would probably not appreciate a raucous new career working with a certain Mr N. Holder, if she was to suddenly become… Slade.

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Adult swim

AS depressing as the UK General Election is turning out to be, there is one notable consolation… America is having an even more painful experience with their election.

Reader Stuart Edwards watched the woeful war of wars between Joe Biden and Donald Trump, which leads him to say: “If you thought the debate was bad, wait till they get to the swimsuit part of the competition.”

Pop = pain

IN a recent Diary we mentioned a glamorous singer who was most successful in the 1960s.

Which reminds Ian McNair from Cellardyke of a popular phrase from the Scottish rhyming slang dictionary.

“When playing football or rugby,” says Ian, “it’s extremely sore to encounter a stiff boot in the Sandie Shaws.”

Flight of fancy

A HISTORICAL lesson from reader Nicola Munro, who says: “Over a hundred years ago, two brothers claimed they could fly. They were Wright.”