Weird science

THE teenage son of reader Gareth Deane is supervising a summer club for Edinburgh children of primary school age.

One of the events planned is a messy, though educational afternoon, which has been advertised to the kids as ‘Slime in Science’.

This proposal did not impress one of the more precocious youngsters, who, at the wise old age of eleven, grumped: “Why do we have to do Slime in Science? Can’t we discuss Einstein’s Theory of Relativity, instead?”

Talking rubbish

GLASGOW comic actor Johnny Mac continuous to get a thrill out of watching Euro 2024, even though Scotland vacated the footballing competition many eons ago. (It now seems.) Johnny particularly enjoyed the Portugal game, where one of the world’s greatest players somehow missed a relatively easy goal.

“Love Euros 2024,” muses Mr. Mac. “Allows me to watch Ronaldo and say he’s past it, I could have scored that penalty. Totally forgetting I can get out of breath taking the bin out.”

Highs and lows

JUST back from holiday, reader Scott Bennett says: “I certainly won't fly EasyJet again. Didn't like the pilot’s altitude.”

Anger management

WE mentioned singer Pink! performing in Glasgow at the weekend.

Diary correspondent Brenda Jones was in Central Station on Saturday afternoon and witnessed a Pink! acolyte draped in the garish garb of her tribe.

She was shouting and jabbing her finger at an equally angry lady who was carrying shopping bags and wore everyday clothing.

The two combatants were arguing about who should get through the train turnstile first, with the Pink! pilgrim winning the debate with a fuselage of venomous put-downs spat out with gusto.

Concludes Brenda: “Never cross a woman wearing a pink Stetson and a pink tinsel scarf.”

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New balls, please

ABERDEEN writer Alan Brown is the author of Overlander, a non-fiction book about his adventures cycling round the wilder parts of Scotland, so he’s clearly a man who knows a thing or two about the sporting life.

His mother, it seems, is no such expert, for Alan reports: “My mum just dubbed Emma Raducanu ‘Emily Rectangular’.”

Which is a clear double-fault, in the world of tennis.

More musical musings

THE Diary is ruining famous bands and singers by adding just one letter to their name.

Michael Watson from Rutherglen suggests a tribute act for a famous 1970s glam rock combo… Proxy Music.

Woolly thinking

EXHAUSTED reader Jane Powell says: “I tried counting sheep to get to sleep. I reached 200 then got bored, so sauntered home and went to bed.”