Play for today

THEATRE fan Jack Perry notes that next week in Glasgow there is a production of Shakespeare’s play The Merry Wives of Windsor, which will be performed as part of the Bard in the Botanics outdoor festival of classic drama.

This being a West of Scotland adaptation, it has been re-titled The Merry Wives of Wishaw.

Says Jack: “I think it would be a great idea If all of Wee Wullie Shakespeare’s plays had new, improved Glesga titles. I’d gladly go and watch a performance of that famous tragedy about a young Danish ned… Bamlet.”

Woeful whistling

IT was the General Election yesterday, a chance for the electorate of Blighty to chuck out a few old duds and replace them with bright, shiny new duds.

Reader Donald Carter tells us that when ever he trudges into a voting booth he whistles the tune from that famous Stealers Wheel song, Stuck in the Middle With You, which was composed, of course, by Scotland’s very own Gerry Rafferty and Joe Egan.

The reason Donald finds the song so inspiring while voting is because of the lyrics: “Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right…”

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WE’RE discussing that popular cure for insomnia, lying in bed and counting sheep.

Ian Noble from Carstairs Village says: “Many years ago I was given sound advice on counting sheep by a farmer. He said the most accurate way was to count the legs and divide by four.

Mock rock name

A MENTION in the Diary of tribute bands reminds Bob Jamieson of a visit to the Mathew Street Festival in Liverpool some years ago.

The performances were all by musical combos who were impersonating more famous acts, and there was one outfit from the host city called Crowded Scouse.

Martin Smith, who spotted this sign, wonders if March is disappointed to be so cruelly eliminated from the calendarMartin Smith, who spotted this sign, wonders if March is disappointed to be so cruelly eliminated from the calendar (Image: free)

Bummer summer

THE other day in Glasgow it rained, turned sunny, rained some more, turned sunny again, then did a whole lot of raining.

And that was just during one two-minute period in the morning, says reader Rosa Hunter.

While this was happening, Rosa’s grumpy teenage daughter made a very politically incorrect statement, when she glared at the heavens, then muttered: “I keep hearing that global warming’s gonna heat up this country. Well, it better do it sharpish, before the end of the summer.”

Positively negative

WE conclude on an optimistic note from reader Lynn Crawford, who tells us: “Last month I was depressed and miserable. But this month I’ve managed to turn my life around. Now I’m miserable and depressed.”