Prime Minister Andy Burnham visited under siege Ukraine this week, and the indie pop fan was filmed pluckily plucking an electric guitar.
Will this bolster the morale of the beleaguered Ukrainian people, one wonders. Or will it, instead, invite unconditional surrender?
Neither outcome seems probable.
Though Andy’s ‘skill’ at guitar twanging has forced the Diary to conclude that it’s highly unlikely that he’ll be vacating Number 10 any time soon, to tour with his own rock band.
This hasn’t stopped Diary correspondent Michael Osborne from wondering what a Burnham band might be called.
He suggests it should be named after the excellent financial situation that the Labour Party currently finds itself in.
“How about ‘Dire Straits’,” suggests Michael. “No, wait. I think that name might have been used already…”
Clothes maketh the man
More on Mr Burnham and his curious ways.
“I’ve noticed that the Prime Minister is loath to wear a suit and tie while on duty,” says reader Bob Greene.
Adds Bob: “My wife says he’s being very unprofessional. “Me? I’m not too bothered. Though if Andy starts wearing a Rab C Nesbitt vest, plus blood-soaked headband… then I might be a tad concerned.”
Civilization spotted
Author Deedee Cuddihy has a tale from Glasgow’s West End.
Her chum Madge was waiting at the Byres Road traffic lights when she was approached by a middle-aged man.
Judging from his accent he hailed from England.
“Excuse me,” said this chap, “but is that a Waitrose over there?”
“Yes,” nodded Madge.
At this, our chap smiled broadly, and exclaimed: “That’s amazing! You’ve got a Waitrose here!”
To which Madge responded, irony fully intended: “And is that a mark of civilisation?”
“Yes,” affirmed the chap, with condescending gusto. “Yes, it is!”
The end
Hi tech correspondent John Mulholland reports that Mark Zuckerberg’s Meta is now facing a lawsuit in America over the design of Facebook and Instagram, including something called ‘infinite scrolling’.
“Really?” snorts our unimpressed correspondent. “I got to the end, today…”
The numbers racket
Polite Diary reader Bill Beckford tells us: “I always let old people go ahead of me in the bank queue. That way it’s so much easier to see their PIN number.”
(We said Bill was polite, not that he was a good person.)
Moony moaning
Exasperated Peter Wright from West Kilbride gets in touch to say: “Why is it that every time I try and watch an eclipse of the sun the moon always gets in the way?”
The Diary is published twice a week on the Herald website - on Thursday and Saturday mornings. And on Saturdays in the print edition of The Herald. Do you have a tale to tell? Contact The Diary on 07375 137 824 or thediary@theherald.co.uk
Share