The Penny drops

YESTERDAY one of our readers cruelly suggested that in the James Bond stakes, Humza Yousaf isn’t the Sean Connery of Scottish politics – he’s George Lazenby.

Rushing to Mr Yousaf’s defence, reader Tony Williams says: “There’s no way Humza is Lazenby. He’s Miss. Moneypenny. Always immaculately turned out, knows how to take dictation (from Nicola Sturgeon), though perhaps not who you’d trust on a top secret mission to save the world… or run a government, come to that.”

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Life is Hull

A TALE of two Rodneys. Years ago reader Jennifer Johnson was standing next to two ladies in a Glasgow bar. A confident fellow swaggered up to the pair and was promptly dispatched, retreating with his head bowed low.

The ladies he had attempted to coax into conversation did not take pity on this pathetic soul, with one cackling to her pal: “Whit a dud. Came o’er here hinkin’ he wis Rod Stewart. Left knowin’ he wis Rod Hull.”


Maudlin missive

A PAL of Sid Leslie from Kirkintilloch succumbed to the plethora of peace of mind/end of life adverts on afternoon television, and took out a funeral plan in which she stipulated her preference to be cremated.

She was perhaps less than delighted when she received a confirmation letter from the company, who extended to her "a very warm welcome". 


Mind your language

ONE of the regular treats offered up by The Herald confuses reader Amy Beaman, who gets in touch to say: “Surely a true crossword puzzle would have nothing but angry words?”


Green machine?

WE’RE discussing those zippy vehicles that are now such a feature of Scottish city centres.

Glasgow comedian Eddie Cassidy says: “Just saw an ad for an electric bike that said it was eco-friendly. Surely it’s more eco-friendly to just get a normal bike?”


Read more: Happily recalling a time of the signs


Modern times

THE following comment is for the benefit of those who have an encyclopaedic knowledge of Glasgow entertainment venues, past and present, for a regular reader gets in touch to ask: “Why has the actor James Cosmo failed to move with the times and change his name to James GFT?”


Fake fitness fanatic

VISITING her local gym, Linda Wright from Newton Mearns got chatting to one of the fitness instructors, who asked her what kind of squat she was accustomed to doing.

So Linda replied truthfully: “Diddly.”


Cold reading

“I’VE often heard that ‘icy’ is the easiest word to spell,” says reader Sam Guttridge. “Looking at it now, I see why.”