Time’s running out
READER Bob Jamieson's daughter received an email from the local primary school which beseechingly read: “A time capsule was buried on the school grounds but no one seems to know where. It’s the school’s 50th year and they would love to open the time capsule to see what’s in there. Does anyone remember it being buried? Any help gratefully received.”
Alas, the Diary can offer no useful advice to the perplexed treasure hunters. Apart from something we were once told by a limping chap of our acquaintance, who went by the name of L. John Silver Esq.
He informed us that the best way to get your hands on buried loot is to first obtain a musty old map with a prominent X stamped upon a certain spot…
In a spin
AND so to Edinburgh, where a cleverly constructed marvel, the W Hotel, soars above the capital. Officially opening in 2022, it’s topped by a prominent spiral.
The city’s movers and shakers are desperately trying to persuade locals to fondly refer to this swirling edifice as the "walnut whip", referencing a popular chocolatey snack.
Regrettably a more scatological label is proving more popular, with one local scribe describing the building as: “Like nothing so much as what citizens are coyly enjoined to pick up after their dogs.”
Reader David Black reports that there is now some debate regarding what initially inspired the architects. Some claim it was New York’s Guggenheim. Others suggest Beijing's Bird’s Nest Stadium.
“It’s a difficult choice,” says David. “Perhaps it falls between two stools.”
Bum deal
ANOTHER nifty newspaper headline from long ago. Reader George Brown recalls the time a streaker flounced across the pitch used by a London football team. The Aberdeen Evening Express’s headline simply, yet accurately, read: “Arsenal.”
Classy kiddie
GLASGOW-BORN screenwriter Kirstie Swain is in a class-conscious frame of mind. “I'm not saying I'm posh,” she explains, “but I think my baby's first word was ‘aga’.”
Going live
METAPHYSICAL musings from reader Larry Jones, who says: “If reincarnation means coming back in a different body with no memories of who you were before, where exactly is the ‘re’ bit of reincarnation?”
Speech defect
IN A morbid frame of mind, reader Claire Owen has been wondering what would be the worst way to commence a eulogy. She suggests: “But first, a word from our sponsors…”
Busy bod
BOASTFUL reader Bob Hodgkinson tells us: “I'm great at multi-tasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.”
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules here