That Friday feeling

A TALE from the factory floor. David Clark from Tarbolton recalls sitting at his tea break one day with a chap called Hughie, who suddenly let out a deep sigh and groaned: "Och, ah weesh tae goodness it was Friday."

This prompted another chap to respond: "Och Hugie, yer jist weeshin yer life away."

Without pausing for thought, Hughie replied: "Well then, ah weesh tae goodness it was last Friday."

The job lot

ON a train from Glasgow to Edinburgh, reader Sophie Mulvanie overheard two young chaps in suits and ties talking.

Said one chap to the other: “If I was rich enough I’d take a hiatus from my career. But as things stand, all I can afford is the odd sickie from the office.”

Dispensing advice

ANOTHER story of the working world. Reader Fay Alper once bagged a job in an office in Glasgow city centre. On her first day, a female colleague whispered to her in the hallway: “I wouldn’t stay with this firm if I were you. It’s a rotten place to work.”

Fay enquired what was the problem. Management? Colleagues? Terms and conditions?

“The dispensing machine in the canteen only has cheese & onion crisps,” said the distressed colleague. “And they’re all out of date.”

Shot of love

VISITING a hostelry in Cumbernauld, reader Frank Cash overheard one chap say to another: “I’m all for the state o’ marriage. But I jist think it’d be more fair for all concerned if instead of saying, ‘I do’ at the altar, you were allowed tae say: ‘I’ll gie it a shot.’”

Musical malady

THE other day we mentioned a popular shindig held in Glasgow Green. Reader John Mulholland says: “When that festival was launched it was given a trendy, eye-catching name. Who could have predicted that in the era of the pandemic the festival name would be even more relevant? It may lack vowels, but it certainly doesn’t lack irony. Hats off, then, to the person who came up with the name TRNSMT.”

Taking the biscuit

WARNING. Proceed with caution. The following tale involves a tragic event that may distress those who love cute animals, biscuits… or both.

Okay, still with us? Then reader Bob McGuinness has a story to tell.

“I bought a pack of those animal-shaped biscuits,” says Bob, who adds glumly: “But I had to take them back. The seal was broken.”

Back problems

“AN old friend of mine turned out to be a backstabber,” says reader Pete Harris. “Or as he calls it, an acupuncturist.”

Read more: A betrayal of crust by a cheating gran